Grief

How do people deal with grief? I have experienced some, and seen other people go through it as well. It’s amazing how different people deal with grief and trauma in their life.

Let’s take a look at me and how I deal with things, which can easily be summed up in a quote from my mum. She lost a relative and was going to the funeral and took my brother for support and said that the reason she didn’t take me was because I “don’t usually show emotion”. I would have to agree with this, I have lost both the grandparents I grew up with and rarely showed emotion during those times. I wanted to remain strong and resolute and I believe that for me, that is still the way I want to be able to deal with things. When I lost my Nan I didn’t really believe it had happened, and I was close to her but having seen what suffering she went through, and this may seem bad, but I was content. I would rather her be at peace then suffer, so I couldn’t really cry. I did at the funeral, and I am glad I did but that was enough. I had said my peace, and I was in happy in doing so. I don’t like clinging on to things that happen, it’s still a sad fact of course but I have some amazing memories, and although she is gone, she still gave so much to my life and in a way, still does. At the wake I saw the cousins I hadn’t seen in years and it was nice to know I had a bigger family out there. I have those times where I think of her and I smile because of the influence she had on me.

I lost my Pap in what was at the time, the worst week of my life. Everything piled up on top of me and I felt at my most vulnerable, I let my emotions take a hold of me and it felt horrible. I have an amazing group of friends and they were so amazing during the whole time, always sending me there support and I have never felt more accepted. Emotions can be both the best and worst thing in our lives. I like being strong and not showing emotion, it makes me less vunerable.

Looking at how other people deal with it, I worry. I see people who take so much shit from life and it makes me sad to think that they are really struggling. I want to be able to stretch a helping hand out and just be supportive. Friends and family have struggled with the loss of someone, some like to drink, some like to hide away. Me, I love to reminisce, remember the amazing things about someone, and I love the stories of people are no longer with us. My Great Nan passed away at the age of 99, she had such a fascinating life and at the home where she was after the funeral we got chatting to someone who was friends with her when they were teenagers and fate had took a hold of them and brought them back together so many years later. That’s how amazing life is, and how much of an influence people are on my life. I regret not showing any emotion, I like being strong, silent and contemplative. I like thinking and remembering, I am not going to hold on to the past because I don’t need to, they still live on in my heart, and surely that’s all that counts.